Tonight is our first night with little khy’marrii. I knew his mommy probably needed a break, and she had to attend her night class. So after work we headed to go get the little guy. At first I was kind of out of the swing of things I guess you can say. I mean Za’niyah is 3 1/2. Lol. However I have picked it right back up! This little guy just gives me” baby fever” all over again!! Babies are such a blessing to have. Hard work? Yes. Tiring? yes. However if you think those 2 hour feedings are horrible! Try those toddler years, and by me working with ages k-8 as well, I see “OH IT REALLY NEVER DOES GET EASIER!” lol Well off I go, there are more things to be done!
There will come a time when she won’t run into my arms to be picked up. There will come a time when she will not want to be held. There will come a time when she won’t come get in my lap to watch tv with her sippy cup. As Zi get’s older I see her personality come together. I see her stubborness when I tell her to hand me something that she can’t have, or tell her to do something that she doesn’t want to do as she just stands there and look at me refusing. I see her goofiness as she runs and laughs, and loves to try and scare me or play a joke. I recognize her becoming more and more independent as she wants to give herself a bath, pick out her own outfit, and even put her own clothes and shoes on. There will come a day when she will fix her own plate, put on her own clothes, stand in the mirror for hours to make sure she looks perfect. She will have a real boyfriend, She will drive and will not want to be my little shadow anymore. Doll’s and minnie mouse scooters will be traded for cell phones and cars, computers and music devices, A bedtime story will be traded for a phone call with her friends. 3 1/2 years ago that seemed sooo far. Now looking at her I realize it’s not that far away at all, it never was. And although my patience may grow thin having her sometimes, I wouldn’t trade her for nothing and I love her unconditionally and there is no one or nothing in this world that will or could ever change that!
So if you have children, or a child, godchildren, or are caring for a child period. When you go home today or the next time you have them be sure to embrace that tantrum, because one day it will be replaced by a door slam, or a eye-roll. Instead of taking that phone call sit down and play with them, hug them, kiss them while you can because one day they will walk out the door with a simple “Mom/Dad i’m leaving”, or a simple “Bye.” Instead of putting them in bed and closing the door hold them tonight until they fall asleep because it won’t last forever one day you will go in their room and they will already be sleep without a goodnight! Embrace the cry over a broken toy because one day it will be over a broken heart and you won’t be able to replace that, or fix it with a simple hug. And that day will come when you look back on pictures of them being small wondering where in the world did the time go.
So time magazine was talking about co-sleeping “attachment parenting” and breast feeding! As if you don’t hear enough controversy about it. Let’s quote a few things ive heard “it’s gross” “it’s unnatural” “it’s not normal” “it shouldn’t be allowed in public”. First off how can something so natural be unnatural? I don’t find it gross I digest my food just fine:) I’m delighted that the kid gets to eat while I eat lol. (besides these days you see more boobs popped out on tv! Now lets talk about Not being natural! Bet you dont see a Problem with that) at least with breastfeeding it’s helping him or her grow! And time here you come! Adding fuel to the fire, so what if someone breastfeeds over what YOU think is unnatural! No one asked what you thought! Parenting is a job that will have you doing a lot of things you never saw yourself doing! My mother co slept with me as well as my brother. So did my grandparents! We co slept with zi and she still does at 3! Yes she can fall asleep on her own and yes she is getting her own bed soon. Tell me something Dr. Sears since you know it all, do you know what it’s like at 3 a.m walking down a hall to a crib where your kid is sleeping, all while seeing doubles because you are barely living off a few hours of sleep?, do you know what it’s like to have a fear of SIDS?, or to have an infant that is sick or has a low immune system and their mothers milk can help strengthen their immune system?, do you know what it’s like to look down at those little faces while they are sleeping/eating and how precious that moment is (that’s right it’s precious at 2,3,4,5,1000!)?? The thing that angers me the most is most of the people that write these articles don’t have children of their own or have been exposed to children outside of “observation”. And observation and actually being apart of a little human life that needs you are two different things! So who are you to tell a mom what she is or isn’t doing is right or wrong!? There are no solutions to parenting because each child is different! As you learn your child you learn what works for you and your child to get through! Every mama is mama enough! She’s mama enough because she loves her baby not because she breastfeeds them until age 6 or not! Not because she chooses cloth diapers or not. Not because her kid is 5 sleeping with her! It’s because she is their mama, she loves them, they love her, shes doing what she finds best for her kids and that’s all that matters! Forget time magazine! Along with dr. Sears and if you do have kids dr. Sears, I’m sure they have some bonding issues!
Well tonight at 12:09p.m. my best friend went into labor with my Godson! I’m so excited to see this little one come into the world! We’ve been friends since Middle school! I was thrilled when offered the position as his godmother. Now all we can do is sit and wait!! Haha We will see how zi will takes to him coming around since she tells me all the time “I the baby, I your only baby.”
Update: He is here! Yay! I’m so excited. Congrats Shaunda!! Welcome to motherhood haha you in for one emotional rollercoaster but a wonderful ride!
(100 calorie bread, turkey, and kiwi)
Dealing with weight issues nearly all my life (except for the moment i was born at 4lbs 15oz dropping to 4lbs. 7oz), I decided to go on this health kick! You know, excersise, better eating habits.. the basics! Why? because I have a desire to live longer (yes I know some people do what they think is right all their lives and still die young etc..But i’d rather die doing what I thought was best than die and it be my own fault) besides that I would like to remain diabeties, high blood pressure,and heart attack free. I’ve been to so many nutristionist it’s far from funny, so I know what to do and what not to do… I just never really did it before. This time though, I’m determined. Unlike those unfortunate people that its really hard for them to loose weight, its not that way for me at all. It’s just hard to STICK to the diet. I also find it so important for kids to be healthy. There’s nothing that I hate more than to see an overweight child that people find funny, cute, and they have mounds of food on their plate. It bothers me personally because that kid was me, at that point its not the childs fault it’s the parents fault! This leads to adulthood (unless that kid finds something wrong with their lifestyle and changes it). It’s no longer funny when its hard for them to find clothes, or walk, or you have to prick their little fingers, or other kids are teasing them to no end because they can’t keep up, and for (women) it can also affect you from being able to conceive(thats right for those of you who didn’t know, it may not be your ovaries or your husbands sperm. So stop blaming that poor man lol! It could be your weight). If your child has a medical condition or are on some type of medication that causes them to gain weight, that is COMPLETELY understandable. I don’t allow zi (or any other kid that steps foot in this camp) to eat that way around here, yes she gets a peanut butter and jelly, mcdonalds, and pizza. However her pizza is cut like a child, portioned like a child, and grapes or something healthy usually go along with it. What kid doesn’t love mcdonalds, but its usually if i hear the *I’m hungry* and we are on the move (she eats when she says she hungry only, unless she just ate)! She is a really good eater and not that picky, she will try ALMOST anything which makes it easy to feed her. She likes Broccoli *I found that out a few weeks ago when putting it on her plate for the first time.* She also loves to be outdoors which is great!
Yes I understand that there are thin people who are unhealthy. And all sizes are beautiful, I won’t love myself any less, or any more being skinny or plus size! Image is not what it’s about, numbers aren’t what it’s about. It’s about trying to be as healthy as possible and trying to do what’s right. Not only for you, but for your kids, or future kids to (You have to start by example).
Tonight is just one of those nights, you know the one where every emotion but happiness seems to surface? I miss him so bad! I never thought that I could have ever felt this way about anyone like him! Growing up I was always the one that told my mom “Oh I don’t know why people walk around and mope over one person, their is more where they came from… so pick up your heart and move on. That will NEVER be me. She would kind of laugh and say, I hope it never is you but one day It will be you will run up with the right person that’s gone bring you off that high horse.” She was right… I loved him when he opened the door and smiled. I knew that him… him… Ohhhh he was different! The way he loved his kid and kids in general automatically gave him the key to my heart! Now I have to explain to Zi (who is a nice innocent constant reminder that life has a way of bringing things to an ABRUPT end) that she can’t go play with her “Bestfriend, sister(Wherever she got that one from I don’t know i’m still trying to figure it out!)” anymore. At least not right now and from the looks of things not ever. I feel so bored,sad,lonely around here now. I mean, I was stuck to him like glue at one point! Wasn’t to many days that went by I didn’t see him, talk to him, smother him to damn death Lol. I loved the kid just as much, if not more! They say “when you love someone you love everthing that comes with them” that has got to be the TRUTH! Once I saw him not even break out in a sweat and survive two screaming children. Who were running under tables, stepping on our feet, dropping chips and jumping on chairs and he wasn’t bothered one bit, I was sold! *Insert sweet quiet (but short) moment: two little girls laying on a chair together watching tv* If I wasn’t sold before (which I was) I was then! It’s been 1 month and 8 days since I was with him last. I’m so tired of feeling this way! It’s just a COMPLETE emotional drain. Why did my mom have to be right? I never felt like this over NO ONE! NOBODY at all, i’m usually the one that picks up my pieces no matter what! This just isn’t the same, I actually love him 0__o!No not me, I said that would never ever be me! It’s me and I don’t like it if it has to hurt. I mean I think my heart went into shock like,What DO YOU MEAN YOU CANT GET OVER HIM IN A WEEK OR LESS!? Yeah it has never felt this way before. He’s the only guy that I wouldn’t have minded marrying at some point in my life *just still not right now*. The fact I could actuatlly think about it or visualize it at all was just mind blowing for me. Oh how I hate the reality of life.
On top of that i’m in DESPERATE need of a JOB! All I want is a job! No one warned me on how hard it would be to find a decent job (okay maybe they did, and I already knew…But still). On top of that I have a million other things on my mind! Everything just seems to pile up at once. They say “when it rains it pours” and they didn’t lie! I will get through this some how i’m sure. I’ve gotten through life thus far I’ll make it through this to.
*Side note: so i’m watching the cosby show(old i know) but they sent sandra out with the same guy they used as denises husband *later episodes* smh TELEVISiON.
Well the kid is down for a nap finally. I can finally sit idle minded… That was until I looked around and saw all the cleaning that needs to be done. All I want is a 30minute nap! Just 30 I don’t ask for much lol. Then I think that’s 30 minutes of cleaning that could be done and 30minutes of cleaning without hearing “I help” or “I want my cup” or “my movie gone” 30 minutes of not having 2 hands reaching up at me while vacuuming. Smh im torn between a nap and cleaning a want an a need. I’m my eyes I need to be doing both lol. Well park later I guess. Maybe I wont fall asleep at the picnic table lol