Khy’marrii 3months

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Khy’marrii at 3 months.

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I love this…

While we cook she is watching cartoons on the laptop. (Yes we have cable) she just wants to be in the kitchen with us:). I’m living on 4hours of sleep. Tea and Pepsi… Oh and a bossy toddler. Would I trade it? Nahhhh not for the world:)! Wish him and his daughter was here:(. Other than the fact zi would love it. I miss him.

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Respiratory Di(stress), and Things

Today is just one of those days! Piles or shall I say mountains of clothes need to be washed, dried, and folded. Another load of dishes need to be washed. Tables need to be dusted, the animals cage need to be cleaned and beds need to be made. And I feel lonely! Zi isn’t here and I miss those little toes right now and her willingness to help. However those little legs will be running through here again tomorrow and I honestly cant wait! My little khy’marrii went into respiratory distress today, that call almost caused an emotional melt down. He’s to young to go through this ='(. Waiting for some good news to go see my little guy! Smh it just never ends. I need a red bull and Starbucks to finish this day!

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20120607-160811.jpg get well soon little man we love you!

There Will Come A Time…

There will come a time when she won’t run into my arms to be picked up. There will come a time when she will not want to be held. There will come a time when she won’t come get in my lap to watch tv with her sippy cup. As Zi get’s older I see her personality come together. I see her stubborness when I tell her to hand me something that she can’t have, or tell her to do something that she doesn’t want to do as she just stands there and look at me refusing. I see her goofiness as she runs and laughs, and loves to try and scare me or play a joke. I recognize her becoming more and more independent as she wants to give herself  a bath, pick out her own outfit, and even put her own clothes and shoes on. There will come a day when she will fix her own plate, put on her own clothes, stand in the mirror for hours to make sure she looks perfect. She will have a real boyfriend, She will drive and will not want to be my little shadow anymore. Doll’s and minnie mouse scooters will be traded for cell phones and cars, computers and music devices, A bedtime story will be traded for a phone call with her friends. 3 1/2 years ago that seemed sooo far. Now looking at her I realize it’s not that far away at all, it never was. And although my patience may grow thin having her sometimes, I wouldn’t trade her for nothing and I love her unconditionally and there is no one or nothing in this world that will or could ever change that!

So if you have children, or a child, godchildren, or are caring for a child period. When you go home today or the next time you have them be sure to embrace that tantrum, because one day it will be replaced by a door slam, or a eye-roll. Instead of taking that phone call sit down and play with them, hug them, kiss them while you can because one day they will walk out the door with a simple “Mom/Dad i’m leaving”, or a simple “Bye.” Instead of putting them in  bed and closing the door hold them tonight until they fall asleep because it won’t last forever one day you will go in their room and they will already be sleep without a goodnight! Embrace the cry over a broken toy because one day it will be over a broken heart and you won’t be able to replace that, or fix it with a simple hug. And that day will come when you look back on pictures of them being small wondering where in the world did the time go.

Instagram Health… Stop Over Feeding The Kid(s)

(100 calorie bread, turkey, and kiwi)

Dealing with weight issues nearly all my life (except for the moment i was born at 4lbs 15oz dropping to 4lbs. 7oz), I decided to go on this health kick! You know, excersise, better eating habits.. the basics! Why? because I have a desire to live longer (yes I know some people do what they think is right all their lives and still die young etc..But i’d rather die doing what I thought was best than die and it be my own fault) besides that I would like to remain diabeties, high blood pressure,and heart attack free. I’ve been to so many nutristionist it’s far from funny, so I know what to do and what not to do… I just never really did it before. This time though, I’m determined. Unlike those unfortunate people that its really hard for them to loose weight, its not that way for me at all. It’s just hard to STICK to the diet. I also find it so important for kids to be healthy. There’s nothing that I hate more than to see an overweight child that people find funny, cute, and they have mounds of food on their plate. It bothers me personally because that kid was me, at that point its not the childs fault it’s the parents fault! This leads to adulthood (unless that kid finds something wrong with their lifestyle and changes it). It’s no longer funny when its hard for them to find clothes, or walk, or you have to prick their little fingers, or other kids are teasing them to no end because they can’t keep up, and for (women) it can also affect you from being able to conceive(thats right for those of you who didn’t know, it may not be your ovaries or your husbands sperm. So stop blaming that poor man lol! It could be your weight). If your child has a medical condition or are on some type of medication that causes them to gain weight, that is COMPLETELY understandable. I don’t allow zi (or any other kid that steps foot in this camp) to eat that way around here, yes she gets a peanut butter and jelly, mcdonalds, and pizza. However her pizza is cut like a child, portioned like a child, and grapes or something healthy usually go along with it. What kid doesn’t love mcdonalds, but its usually if i hear the *I’m hungry* and we are on the move (she eats when she says she hungry only, unless she just ate)! She is a really good eater and not that picky, she will try ALMOST anything which makes it easy to feed her. She likes Broccoli *I found that out a few weeks ago when putting it on her plate for the first time.* She also loves to be outdoors which is great!

Yes I understand that there are thin people who are unhealthy. And all sizes are beautiful, I won’t love myself any less, or any more being skinny or plus size! Image is not what it’s about, numbers aren’t what it’s about. It’s about trying to be as healthy as possible and trying to do what’s right. Not only for you, but for your kids, or future kids to (You have to start by example).

I Am…

I’m crazy, sometimes dizzy, my jokes are only funny to me and a weirdo that gets it, I laugh at things only I sometimes find funny, I forget I’m grown sometimes, A 3year old walks around carrying my heart with her, I get irritated quickly some days, I forget how to spell some of the most simple words! I can’t do math in my head unless it’s the basics, I have yet to go to college, I chose the most imperfect guy to love (he’s probably the only guy that will actually sit and try to stick his middle toe up with me and laugh about it. He gets me.), I’m not the cutest person in the world I dont pretend to think so. My idea of being sexy are hello kitty underwear, with a T-shirt, Jeans and a pair of old navy flip flops! I’m sometimes overly sensitive and emotional, I cry at the stupidest things, sometimes I cry and don’t know why, I walk around with a smile ready to burst out in tears any minute! I walk around most day’s in t-shirts, underwear and my hair is a mess, He say’s I walk around and know I’m cute (I say I walk around with my head  in the clouds questioning myself, thinking I’m not cute at all, only boosting my confidence when he tells me so.),I’m extremely clingy and like a flee on a dog sometimes (you know, no matter how much u scratch me I just bounce to the other side),I’m too shy to ever approach anyone for fear of rejection, I freely express how I feel most of the time, I tell him I love him even If I don’t hear it back, I was told I make my mistake by expressing my feelings to people, I think people make their mistakes by not expressing themselves enough.

” I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” -Marilyn Monroe