There Will Come A Time…

There will come a time when she won’t run into my arms to be picked up. There will come a time when she will not want to be held. There will come a time when she won’t come get in my lap to watch tv with her sippy cup. As Zi get’s older I see her personality come together. I see her stubborness when I tell her to hand me something that she can’t have, or tell her to do something that she doesn’t want to do as she just stands there and look at me refusing. I see her goofiness as she runs and laughs, and loves to try and scare me or play a joke. I recognize her becoming more and more independent as she wants to give herself  a bath, pick out her own outfit, and even put her own clothes and shoes on. There will come a day when she will fix her own plate, put on her own clothes, stand in the mirror for hours to make sure she looks perfect. She will have a real boyfriend, She will drive and will not want to be my little shadow anymore. Doll’s and minnie mouse scooters will be traded for cell phones and cars, computers and music devices, A bedtime story will be traded for a phone call with her friends. 3 1/2 years ago that seemed sooo far. Now looking at her I realize it’s not that far away at all, it never was. And although my patience may grow thin having her sometimes, I wouldn’t trade her for nothing and I love her unconditionally and there is no one or nothing in this world that will or could ever change that!

So if you have children, or a child, godchildren, or are caring for a child period. When you go home today or the next time you have them be sure to embrace that tantrum, because one day it will be replaced by a door slam, or a eye-roll. Instead of taking that phone call sit down and play with them, hug them, kiss them while you can because one day they will walk out the door with a simple “Mom/Dad i’m leaving”, or a simple “Bye.” Instead of putting them in  bed and closing the door hold them tonight until they fall asleep because it won’t last forever one day you will go in their room and they will already be sleep without a goodnight! Embrace the cry over a broken toy because one day it will be over a broken heart and you won’t be able to replace that, or fix it with a simple hug. And that day will come when you look back on pictures of them being small wondering where in the world did the time go.

Instagram Health… Stop Over Feeding The Kid(s)

(100 calorie bread, turkey, and kiwi)

Dealing with weight issues nearly all my life (except for the moment i was born at 4lbs 15oz dropping to 4lbs. 7oz), I decided to go on this health kick! You know, excersise, better eating habits.. the basics! Why? because I have a desire to live longer (yes I know some people do what they think is right all their lives and still die young etc..But i’d rather die doing what I thought was best than die and it be my own fault) besides that I would like to remain diabeties, high blood pressure,and heart attack free. I’ve been to so many nutristionist it’s far from funny, so I know what to do and what not to do… I just never really did it before. This time though, I’m determined. Unlike those unfortunate people that its really hard for them to loose weight, its not that way for me at all. It’s just hard to STICK to the diet. I also find it so important for kids to be healthy. There’s nothing that I hate more than to see an overweight child that people find funny, cute, and they have mounds of food on their plate. It bothers me personally because that kid was me, at that point its not the childs fault it’s the parents fault! This leads to adulthood (unless that kid finds something wrong with their lifestyle and changes it). It’s no longer funny when its hard for them to find clothes, or walk, or you have to prick their little fingers, or other kids are teasing them to no end because they can’t keep up, and for (women) it can also affect you from being able to conceive(thats right for those of you who didn’t know, it may not be your ovaries or your husbands sperm. So stop blaming that poor man lol! It could be your weight). If your child has a medical condition or are on some type of medication that causes them to gain weight, that is COMPLETELY understandable. I don’t allow zi (or any other kid that steps foot in this camp) to eat that way around here, yes she gets a peanut butter and jelly, mcdonalds, and pizza. However her pizza is cut like a child, portioned like a child, and grapes or something healthy usually go along with it. What kid doesn’t love mcdonalds, but its usually if i hear the *I’m hungry* and we are on the move (she eats when she says she hungry only, unless she just ate)! She is a really good eater and not that picky, she will try ALMOST anything which makes it easy to feed her. She likes Broccoli *I found that out a few weeks ago when putting it on her plate for the first time.* She also loves to be outdoors which is great!

Yes I understand that there are thin people who are unhealthy. And all sizes are beautiful, I won’t love myself any less, or any more being skinny or plus size! Image is not what it’s about, numbers aren’t what it’s about. It’s about trying to be as healthy as possible and trying to do what’s right. Not only for you, but for your kids, or future kids to (You have to start by example).

I Am…

I’m crazy, sometimes dizzy, my jokes are only funny to me and a weirdo that gets it, I laugh at things only I sometimes find funny, I forget I’m grown sometimes, A 3year old walks around carrying my heart with her, I get irritated quickly some days, I forget how to spell some of the most simple words! I can’t do math in my head unless it’s the basics, I have yet to go to college, I chose the most imperfect guy to love (he’s probably the only guy that will actually sit and try to stick his middle toe up with me and laugh about it. He gets me.), I’m not the cutest person in the world I dont pretend to think so. My idea of being sexy are hello kitty underwear, with a T-shirt, Jeans and a pair of old navy flip flops! I’m sometimes overly sensitive and emotional, I cry at the stupidest things, sometimes I cry and don’t know why, I walk around with a smile ready to burst out in tears any minute! I walk around most day’s in t-shirts, underwear and my hair is a mess, He say’s I walk around and know I’m cute (I say I walk around with my head  in the clouds questioning myself, thinking I’m not cute at all, only boosting my confidence when he tells me so.),I’m extremely clingy and like a flee on a dog sometimes (you know, no matter how much u scratch me I just bounce to the other side),I’m too shy to ever approach anyone for fear of rejection, I freely express how I feel most of the time, I tell him I love him even If I don’t hear it back, I was told I make my mistake by expressing my feelings to people, I think people make their mistakes by not expressing themselves enough.

” I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” -Marilyn Monroe

Caleb,the observant little boy

Caleb Ethan, that’s his name and if you screw it up in any way he will be sure to correct you. Caleb was special from the start. First he tried to come to early which lead to his mom having to get a Cerclage. Then when it was his time to come he didn’t want to come at all. We sat for hours and hours waiting on his arrival which soon ended in a c-section. When the nurse brought him out for us to see, I was expecting a screaming baby boy, not him. He was calm and collective he stared at all of us and eventually gave us a smirk as though he had known us all his life.Then it happened,we noticed he had BLUE EYES,BLUE EYES! Yes, he is African America. No, he is not Bi-racial. The doctor says he was suppose to be a twin. Now his eyes are half blue Half brown. What makes caleb so special isn’t just his eyes though, it’s how he observes everything. Every little detail of life. His compassion for people at  5years old is amazing. And the way he observes things, almost like a little old man. Even as a newborn he was very observant. One day my mom was holding him thinking he was sleep, I noticed every time she would look down he would close his eyes and every time she would look up he would open them. All I could do was laugh and tell her she was being outsmarted by a baby. He has always been smart for his age, so when he went for testing to see if he needed to start in the first grade instead of kindergarten he told the lady “I’m Caleb, I know a lot.” He was very confident in himself, and he should have been because he passed with flying colors and sure enough he was on a first grade level. However he would BARELY be five when starting school   and although he is very smart he still had the 5year old whiny mentality. Even when shopping for toys he is very selective about which toy he wants he likes to look at every one of them to make sure that, the toy he is getting is the one for him! One day I told him “caleb you have a five dollar limit on a toy” he tried to negotiate “six dollars because we cant find a toy for five dollars, he says.” I still said, “Five dollars take it or leave it” he took it. We walk in wal-mart and who knew that a toy for five dollars and under was so hard to find in there (a good toy that is). Sure enough we get to the register with his toy (a playdough set) it come’s up to $5.48. We gave the lady six dollars, he stands up in the cart, looks at  me and says “see Keyra(as he calls me, Instead of Kierra) I told you I would need six dollars! All I could do was laugh because he was right. When he started walking it was joyous and a headache at the same time. Just like any other toddler he didn’t want to be held or in a cart,he wanted to walk. The walking wasn’t what got on your nerves, it was the whole walk and observe every square inch of life! He would walk a minute, stop look around, might pick something up off the ground to if you weren’t careful. Even now he is still a Slow Poke, asking you a thousand times “what is that” before you can make it in a store. My family calls him their little president because he walks and talks with such confidence in himself as though he already knows his purpose here. The look of contentment on his face screams ” I know i’m loved” the permanent smile he naturally has speaks “I have no worries.”  He is such a gentlemen he knows not to hit women, he opens the door for us, he says please and thank you and will remind you to use your manners if you forget. He notices every detail about you. From a different hairstyle, to a bump on your face, to a new pair of shoes. I know that one day Caleb will be someone great. Maybe a president, a doctor, a lawyer, or maybe he will walk on the moon, and If he doesn’t that will be fine to. Rather he works at Mcdonalds, or become the CEO of some big office. Rather he loves a woman or a man. Rather he goes to college or settle for a diploma. He may marry, he may not. My hopes for him is that he becomes a person he love’s, accepts and is proud of. I just hope he is happy in whatever it is he chooses to be or whatever it is he chooses to do. I just know he… will be someone great. How? Because greatness is measured by your own terms not anyone else’s and as long as he know he is great…Then he is.