Khy’marrii at 3 months.
Khy’marrii at 3 months.
Tonight is our first night with little khy’marrii. I knew his mommy probably needed a break, and she had to attend her night class. So after work we headed to go get the little guy. At first I was kind of out of the swing of things I guess you can say. I mean Za’niyah is 3 1/2. Lol. However I have picked it right back up! This little guy just gives me” baby fever” all over again!! Babies are such a blessing to have. Hard work? Yes. Tiring? yes. However if you think those 2 hour feedings are horrible! Try those toddler years, and by me working with ages k-8 as well, I see “OH IT REALLY NEVER DOES GET EASIER!” lol Well off I go, there are more things to be done!
There will come a time when she won’t run into my arms to be picked up. There will come a time when she will not want to be held. There will come a time when she won’t come get in my lap to watch tv with her sippy cup. As Zi get’s older I see her personality come together. I see her stubborness when I tell her to hand me something that she can’t have, or tell her to do something that she doesn’t want to do as she just stands there and look at me refusing. I see her goofiness as she runs and laughs, and loves to try and scare me or play a joke. I recognize her becoming more and more independent as she wants to give herself a bath, pick out her own outfit, and even put her own clothes and shoes on. There will come a day when she will fix her own plate, put on her own clothes, stand in the mirror for hours to make sure she looks perfect. She will have a real boyfriend, She will drive and will not want to be my little shadow anymore. Doll’s and minnie mouse scooters will be traded for cell phones and cars, computers and music devices, A bedtime story will be traded for a phone call with her friends. 3 1/2 years ago that seemed sooo far. Now looking at her I realize it’s not that far away at all, it never was. And although my patience may grow thin having her sometimes, I wouldn’t trade her for nothing and I love her unconditionally and there is no one or nothing in this world that will or could ever change that!
So if you have children, or a child, godchildren, or are caring for a child period. When you go home today or the next time you have them be sure to embrace that tantrum, because one day it will be replaced by a door slam, or a eye-roll. Instead of taking that phone call sit down and play with them, hug them, kiss them while you can because one day they will walk out the door with a simple “Mom/Dad i’m leaving”, or a simple “Bye.” Instead of putting them in bed and closing the door hold them tonight until they fall asleep because it won’t last forever one day you will go in their room and they will already be sleep without a goodnight! Embrace the cry over a broken toy because one day it will be over a broken heart and you won’t be able to replace that, or fix it with a simple hug. And that day will come when you look back on pictures of them being small wondering where in the world did the time go.
F I N A L L Y! I got a job today after putting in many applications, lots of determination, and a few let downs. Omg when the lady called and asked could I start work tomorrow I was so excited, she did not have to ask me twice! It’s part time, so I will look for a job from 8-2 as well to bring some extra(much needed) money in! I am so excited for tomorrow! I know my mom does so much and i’m greatful for her and my whole family because they are truely amazing! However it’s like my great grandma always say “Mama may have, daddy may have but god bless the child who has his own.” That’s the truth, i’m fairly independent and stubborn always have been! So asking people for things is VERY hard for me. I’ll wait until the VERY last minute to ask anyone for anything because i’m always trying to figure out how I can just do it myself! Wish me luck tomorrow!
So time magazine was talking about co-sleeping “attachment parenting” and breast feeding! As if you don’t hear enough controversy about it. Let’s quote a few things ive heard “it’s gross” “it’s unnatural” “it’s not normal” “it shouldn’t be allowed in public”. First off how can something so natural be unnatural? I don’t find it gross I digest my food just fine:) I’m delighted that the kid gets to eat while I eat lol. (besides these days you see more boobs popped out on tv! Now lets talk about Not being natural! Bet you dont see a Problem with that) at least with breastfeeding it’s helping him or her grow! And time here you come! Adding fuel to the fire, so what if someone breastfeeds over what YOU think is unnatural! No one asked what you thought! Parenting is a job that will have you doing a lot of things you never saw yourself doing! My mother co slept with me as well as my brother. So did my grandparents! We co slept with zi and she still does at 3! Yes she can fall asleep on her own and yes she is getting her own bed soon. Tell me something Dr. Sears since you know it all, do you know what it’s like at 3 a.m walking down a hall to a crib where your kid is sleeping, all while seeing doubles because you are barely living off a few hours of sleep?, do you know what it’s like to have a fear of SIDS?, or to have an infant that is sick or has a low immune system and their mothers milk can help strengthen their immune system?, do you know what it’s like to look down at those little faces while they are sleeping/eating and how precious that moment is (that’s right it’s precious at 2,3,4,5,1000!)?? The thing that angers me the most is most of the people that write these articles don’t have children of their own or have been exposed to children outside of “observation”. And observation and actually being apart of a little human life that needs you are two different things! So who are you to tell a mom what she is or isn’t doing is right or wrong!? There are no solutions to parenting because each child is different! As you learn your child you learn what works for you and your child to get through! Every mama is mama enough! She’s mama enough because she loves her baby not because she breastfeeds them until age 6 or not! Not because she chooses cloth diapers or not. Not because her kid is 5 sleeping with her! It’s because she is their mama, she loves them, they love her, shes doing what she finds best for her kids and that’s all that matters! Forget time magazine! Along with dr. Sears and if you do have kids dr. Sears, I’m sure they have some bonding issues!
“Lord I can’t say it in words… So can
you please just listen through my heart” -unknown
Thats all I can say. It’s all I have in me right now. Life is draining!
I’ve never seen a problem with black men dating a white woman, a white woman dating a black man, a black woman dating a white man, or a white man dating a black woman. Then again i’ve never seen the problem with people having gay rights, or abortion rights (although abortion isn’t for me, and Homosexuals marrying in a church isn’t my ideal wedding). I’m just very liberal and feel as though everyone deserves choices. (Yes I attend church… Yes I know some of the bible and I will say this once… I answer to god for me, you will answer for you, and the rest will answer for themselves to. So what people do is their business I have no place to put them so who am I to judge?) I’m also that one that wouldn’t elect obama in office simply because he was BLACK (sorry honey i’m concerned about my future and the kids future not making damn history. Hillary I was all for you!lol I wasn’t a mccain fan, but I did like sarah palin *weird right?*) lol. However what is the big deal with interracial couples? And I must say the black men dating a white woman get the worst end of the bargain! Especially from their own race. You want to see a black woman(not all) mad, let her walk in the mall and see a black man hugged all up with his woman and she has the NERVE to be white! And god forbid he cheated with a white woman sentence him to death fore he has sinned (personally i dont care if she pink or red you cheat on me we gone have some problems reguardless!). And lets not forget if he is wealthy “she only want his money why couldnt he find a black girl?” (as if there are no gold digging black women)lol they come all out of themselves! I have experienced this first hand as I just stand their and think (what’s so bad about it? She is a human capable of being loved.) However i’ve heard many saying’s “They treat them better than they treat us.” Hmmm… Tiger woods cheated on his wife (blank stare) if that’s considered treating her better then please TREAT ME BAD! My favorite though… “I remember when a black man couldn’t even look at a white woman.” (GASP, but you’re only like… 30 and u remember that?) Well I also remember when blacks couldnt go to school (you can do that now), Blacks couldnt sit in the same place and resteraunt or walk on the same side of the street as white’s (you can do that now). It’s a new error am I the only one that noticed? White people can adopt black children now:). Do you see a problem with that to? Bet not, you see a white couple adopt a black child and say awww how sweet. Yet you look down on an interracial couple, I see a double standard in that. Yet it seems to be okay for a black woman to date a white man (in the black community, now i’m sure that poor white man is catching it from his family if he still even has family willing to talk to him). I hear “Oh you go head girl u got yourself a white man *throws hand in air with wide smile” and again I just stand and stare lol. Then I hear on the white side “What is that black girl doing with the white man? *turns nose up and walks away shaking head.* I live in the south where every race is racist lol. However I was born and semi-raised in the north! You can tell the difference from maryland, new york etc.. vs. North carolina, or Florida they put a piece of staring on you in the south if you are a multi racial couple you can here the whispers a mile away even in 2012 it never ends and god bless your kids when they go to school! I’m multi-racial. My mother is (African american, and cherokee). My father is (White, Haliwa Indian, and African american) and Well me I just resemble a mexican. That’s right a mexican they really think i’m one of them. lol. In school I was never black enough to be black, or white enough to be white. So therefore i’ve had an interesting variety of friends. From hispanic, to white, asian, and black. So what did i mean by “I was never black enough to be black, or white enough to be white” when I had different types of friends? When I first went to school the whole school was white, their were probably all of 20 blacks (including the principle and teachers). In my class photo I was the only black child (who again just looked like a stand in mexican lmao). However I never really saw color. I did go through a phase where I was terrified of (darker complected people other than memebers in my family that just proves that when a child see’s its family it see’s no color.) So when it came time to move and switch schools… I was in for a real treat… this school had way more african-american students. They taunted me and it was the black kids that were the worst! I had the hardest time making friends there at first. I got my first friend and she had the nerve to be white! why in the hell did i go and do that for? They taunted us together lol. I was this little mixed, proper english speaking kid knowing nothing but white people outside of my family (even my mom best friend was white) in this predomanitly black school wearing keds, and khaki jumpers. That was not a good combination. This went from elementary on… I did make some black friends along the way however I came to realize that some darker complected people have this hate towards you because they feel you think you are better than them and will get further in life and some even think you’re prettier than them. Then their were some white’s that just didnt think you fit with them either because you were not white enough! I had a few white teachers that simply disliked me because of my race, and a few black teachers that hated me for it to. I mean you can’t help who your parents are but with the time I was having I wish I could have chosen my parents! Tonight I saw a nice white couple with a black baby… it made me smile because I love the fact that two races can come together. I hate the fact they can’t be together in peace, because one day someone will point out the fact (the child will already know) that this child is black with a white family and make a big issue out of it. Nevermind the fact that the color of the skin is not what makes the mother or father it’s the love and care that makes them who they are, the one’s that love him the most and is there for all of his needs. Nevermind the fact love has no color and you can’t help who you fall in love with, who you love, what you love and the color of their skin. I see no color the one I love just so happens to be black. However if he was white, red, green, blue or purple, i’d still love him then to because i’m not in love with the color or his skin i’m in love with him and who he is (maybe not all of his ways) lol. Tonight I reassured my little brother (9, they start early these days lol) that whatever race he decides to date is beautiful and as long as he loves her it won’t matter what color she is!
*people colors are just that colors, if you look in a crayon box there are many colors and most of us can never pick just one to love, when someone usually ask “whats your favorite color…we think… and think… and say well I like more than one so that’s hard to say. It’s no different with humans you don’t have to love one race just one person at a time lol.
“When a child is born you see all they could be, When you walk out your door and see reality you see all they most likely will be” -Me