Do you ever wonder what mark you will leave behind when you die? Who and how will people remember you? Did you live or simply exist? Ever since I heard about Talia Joy Castellano loosing her battle with cancer (nueroblastoma) I have been pondering these questions. She fought and kicked cancers ass for 6 long years. Much longer than some. It may seem as though she has lost her battle, but she hasn’t, and she won’t. Her soul may leave but she will live on. In my eyes she’s won her battle. She will do what we all have to do. “Just as we live we shall die, it’s the circle of life”-talia. When she leaves this world, it will owe her nothing, she has come to do what she was meant to do. I just hate she had to go through all of this to achieve what god had set for her to accomplish. Sometimes I wonder why, why bring someone here that has to suffer? But isn’t that the human side of me? We aren’t always able to comprehend these things. And if you are raised in church you are taught to not question god… But we do anyway. We’re human and he forgives us. Talia lived, she will forever live. She will always be an inspiration to me and so many others. In her final moments I hope and pray she has peace and comfort. She feels the love surrounding her and remembers that she didnt loose this battle… She kicked cancers ass. Her soul may leave but her message lives on. Her life wasn’t always as beautiful as she was but it was beautiful just the same. What i will take from following some of her fight is to not feel sorry for myself no matter what situation I’m put in, to just keep swimming. I’m sure her next life will be so much more beautiful than this life. She’ll be beautiful forever with no pain. That must seem like a nice thought for her right now. Used to finding nemo was just some kiddie movie that I could 1. Never watch all the way through 2. Never find the moral in. Now I watch it an it has meaning, I think of talia, I can now find the moral of the story and I have her to thank for that. “Just keep swimming” kid “just keep swimming”.
Staying with khy’marrii tonight at the hospital. I’m so sleepy and tired. I will live off of coffee tomorrow! And zi and I will be taking a nice long nap or maybe I can sneak in about 3hours before her arrival;) if I’m lucky! Or maybe she will be nice enough to sleep for at least 2! Anyways I’m ready for my baby girl. Khy’marrii seems to be doing a little better. He may go home tomorrow. Just irritated that he has tubes in his foot. I hate to see him like that.
Today is just one of those days! Piles or shall I say mountains of clothes need to be washed, dried, and folded. Another load of dishes need to be washed. Tables need to be dusted, the animals cage need to be cleaned and beds need to be made. And I feel lonely! Zi isn’t here and I miss those little toes right now and her willingness to help. However those little legs will be running through here again tomorrow and I honestly cant wait! My little khy’marrii went into respiratory distress today, that call almost caused an emotional melt down. He’s to young to go through this ='(. Waiting for some good news to go see my little guy! Smh it just never ends. I need a red bull and Starbucks to finish this day!
So time magazine was talking about co-sleeping “attachment parenting” and breast feeding! As if you don’t hear enough controversy about it. Let’s quote a few things ive heard “it’s gross” “it’s unnatural” “it’s not normal” “it shouldn’t be allowed in public”. First off how can something so natural be unnatural? I don’t find it gross I digest my food just fine:) I’m delighted that the kid gets to eat while I eat lol. (besides these days you see more boobs popped out on tv! Now lets talk about Not being natural! Bet you dont see a Problem with that) at least with breastfeeding it’s helping him or her grow! And time here you come! Adding fuel to the fire, so what if someone breastfeeds over what YOU think is unnatural! No one asked what you thought! Parenting is a job that will have you doing a lot of things you never saw yourself doing! My mother co slept with me as well as my brother. So did my grandparents! We co slept with zi and she still does at 3! Yes she can fall asleep on her own and yes she is getting her own bed soon. Tell me something Dr. Sears since you know it all, do you know what it’s like at 3 a.m walking down a hall to a crib where your kid is sleeping, all while seeing doubles because you are barely living off a few hours of sleep?, do you know what it’s like to have a fear of SIDS?, or to have an infant that is sick or has a low immune system and their mothers milk can help strengthen their immune system?, do you know what it’s like to look down at those little faces while they are sleeping/eating and how precious that moment is (that’s right it’s precious at 2,3,4,5,1000!)?? The thing that angers me the most is most of the people that write these articles don’t have children of their own or have been exposed to children outside of “observation”. And observation and actually being apart of a little human life that needs you are two different things! So who are you to tell a mom what she is or isn’t doing is right or wrong!? There are no solutions to parenting because each child is different! As you learn your child you learn what works for you and your child to get through! Every mama is mama enough! She’s mama enough because she loves her baby not because she breastfeeds them until age 6 or not! Not because she chooses cloth diapers or not. Not because her kid is 5 sleeping with her! It’s because she is their mama, she loves them, they love her, shes doing what she finds best for her kids and that’s all that matters! Forget time magazine! Along with dr. Sears and if you do have kids dr. Sears, I’m sure they have some bonding issues!
(100 calorie bread, turkey, and kiwi)
Dealing with weight issues nearly all my life (except for the moment i was born at 4lbs 15oz dropping to 4lbs. 7oz), I decided to go on this health kick! You know, excersise, better eating habits.. the basics! Why? because I have a desire to live longer (yes I know some people do what they think is right all their lives and still die young etc..But i’d rather die doing what I thought was best than die and it be my own fault) besides that I would like to remain diabeties, high blood pressure,and heart attack free. I’ve been to so many nutristionist it’s far from funny, so I know what to do and what not to do… I just never really did it before. This time though, I’m determined. Unlike those unfortunate people that its really hard for them to loose weight, its not that way for me at all. It’s just hard to STICK to the diet. I also find it so important for kids to be healthy. There’s nothing that I hate more than to see an overweight child that people find funny, cute, and they have mounds of food on their plate. It bothers me personally because that kid was me, at that point its not the childs fault it’s the parents fault! This leads to adulthood (unless that kid finds something wrong with their lifestyle and changes it). It’s no longer funny when its hard for them to find clothes, or walk, or you have to prick their little fingers, or other kids are teasing them to no end because they can’t keep up, and for (women) it can also affect you from being able to conceive(thats right for those of you who didn’t know, it may not be your ovaries or your husbands sperm. So stop blaming that poor man lol! It could be your weight). If your child has a medical condition or are on some type of medication that causes them to gain weight, that is COMPLETELY understandable. I don’t allow zi (or any other kid that steps foot in this camp) to eat that way around here, yes she gets a peanut butter and jelly, mcdonalds, and pizza. However her pizza is cut like a child, portioned like a child, and grapes or something healthy usually go along with it. What kid doesn’t love mcdonalds, but its usually if i hear the *I’m hungry* and we are on the move (she eats when she says she hungry only, unless she just ate)! She is a really good eater and not that picky, she will try ALMOST anything which makes it easy to feed her. She likes Broccoli *I found that out a few weeks ago when putting it on her plate for the first time.* She also loves to be outdoors which is great!
Yes I understand that there are thin people who are unhealthy. And all sizes are beautiful, I won’t love myself any less, or any more being skinny or plus size! Image is not what it’s about, numbers aren’t what it’s about. It’s about trying to be as healthy as possible and trying to do what’s right. Not only for you, but for your kids, or future kids to (You have to start by example).