Awards, Graduations, &&Emotions!

Whole family Up early this morning. Awards day, graduations! Why can’t schools scatter these things out?! Work extra early(but thank god i have a job so no complaints that way). However I love these moments. I know when zi gets these things one day, I’ll cry a river! Yes. Don’t judge me. I’m a little emotional. Congrats Caleb, Quavez, kelina and to all my kids I work with that are receiving awards and are graduating! We are so proud of you all!

Before work I went On a mini shopping spree for zi! Pajamas,clothes, even bought her a pool! Seems like everyone wears her size in flip flops today!

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There Will Come A Time…

There will come a time when she won’t run into my arms to be picked up. There will come a time when she will not want to be held. There will come a time when she won’t come get in my lap to watch tv with her sippy cup. As Zi get’s older I see her personality come together. I see her stubborness when I tell her to hand me something that she can’t have, or tell her to do something that she doesn’t want to do as she just stands there and look at me refusing. I see her goofiness as she runs and laughs, and loves to try and scare me or play a joke. I recognize her becoming more and more independent as she wants to give herself  a bath, pick out her own outfit, and even put her own clothes and shoes on. There will come a day when she will fix her own plate, put on her own clothes, stand in the mirror for hours to make sure she looks perfect. She will have a real boyfriend, She will drive and will not want to be my little shadow anymore. Doll’s and minnie mouse scooters will be traded for cell phones and cars, computers and music devices, A bedtime story will be traded for a phone call with her friends. 3 1/2 years ago that seemed sooo far. Now looking at her I realize it’s not that far away at all, it never was. And although my patience may grow thin having her sometimes, I wouldn’t trade her for nothing and I love her unconditionally and there is no one or nothing in this world that will or could ever change that!

So if you have children, or a child, godchildren, or are caring for a child period. When you go home today or the next time you have them be sure to embrace that tantrum, because one day it will be replaced by a door slam, or a eye-roll. Instead of taking that phone call sit down and play with them, hug them, kiss them while you can because one day they will walk out the door with a simple “Mom/Dad i’m leaving”, or a simple “Bye.” Instead of putting them in  bed and closing the door hold them tonight until they fall asleep because it won’t last forever one day you will go in their room and they will already be sleep without a goodnight! Embrace the cry over a broken toy because one day it will be over a broken heart and you won’t be able to replace that, or fix it with a simple hug. And that day will come when you look back on pictures of them being small wondering where in the world did the time go.

I’ve Lost All Respect “Time”

So time magazine was talking about co-sleeping “attachment parenting” and breast feeding! As if you don’t hear enough controversy about it. Let’s quote a few things ive heard “it’s gross” “it’s unnatural” “it’s not normal” “it shouldn’t be allowed in public”. First off how can something so natural be unnatural? I don’t find it gross I digest my food just fine:) I’m delighted that the kid gets to eat while I eat lol. (besides these days you see more boobs popped out on tv! Now lets talk about Not being natural! Bet you dont see a Problem with that) at least with breastfeeding it’s helping him or her grow! And time here you come! Adding fuel to the fire, so what if someone breastfeeds over what YOU think is unnatural! No one asked what you thought! Parenting is a job that will have you doing a lot of things you never saw yourself doing! My mother co slept with me as well as my brother. So did my grandparents! We co slept with zi and she still does at 3! Yes she can fall asleep on her own and yes she is getting her own bed soon. Tell me something Dr. Sears since you know it all, do you know what it’s like at 3 a.m walking down a hall to a crib where your kid is sleeping, all while seeing doubles because you are barely living off a few hours of sleep?, do you know what it’s like to have a fear of SIDS?, or to have an infant that is sick or has a low immune system and their mothers milk can help strengthen their immune system?, do you know what it’s like to look down at those little faces while they are sleeping/eating and how precious that moment is (that’s right it’s precious at 2,3,4,5,1000!)?? The thing that angers me the most is most of the people that write these articles don’t have children of their own or have been exposed to children outside of “observation”. And observation and actually being apart of a little human life that needs you are two different things! So who are you to tell a mom what she is or isn’t doing is right or wrong!? There are no solutions to parenting because each child is different! As you learn your child you learn what works for you and your child to get through! Every mama is mama enough! She’s mama enough because she loves her baby not because she breastfeeds them until age 6 or not! Not because she chooses cloth diapers or not. Not because her kid is 5 sleeping with her! It’s because she is their mama, she loves them, they love her, shes doing what she finds best for her kids and that’s all that matters! Forget time magazine! Along with dr. Sears and if you do have kids dr. Sears, I’m sure they have some bonding issues!

Instagram Health… Stop Over Feeding The Kid(s)

(100 calorie bread, turkey, and kiwi)

Dealing with weight issues nearly all my life (except for the moment i was born at 4lbs 15oz dropping to 4lbs. 7oz), I decided to go on this health kick! You know, excersise, better eating habits.. the basics! Why? because I have a desire to live longer (yes I know some people do what they think is right all their lives and still die young etc..But i’d rather die doing what I thought was best than die and it be my own fault) besides that I would like to remain diabeties, high blood pressure,and heart attack free. I’ve been to so many nutristionist it’s far from funny, so I know what to do and what not to do… I just never really did it before. This time though, I’m determined. Unlike those unfortunate people that its really hard for them to loose weight, its not that way for me at all. It’s just hard to STICK to the diet. I also find it so important for kids to be healthy. There’s nothing that I hate more than to see an overweight child that people find funny, cute, and they have mounds of food on their plate. It bothers me personally because that kid was me, at that point its not the childs fault it’s the parents fault! This leads to adulthood (unless that kid finds something wrong with their lifestyle and changes it). It’s no longer funny when its hard for them to find clothes, or walk, or you have to prick their little fingers, or other kids are teasing them to no end because they can’t keep up, and for (women) it can also affect you from being able to conceive(thats right for those of you who didn’t know, it may not be your ovaries or your husbands sperm. So stop blaming that poor man lol! It could be your weight). If your child has a medical condition or are on some type of medication that causes them to gain weight, that is COMPLETELY understandable. I don’t allow zi (or any other kid that steps foot in this camp) to eat that way around here, yes she gets a peanut butter and jelly, mcdonalds, and pizza. However her pizza is cut like a child, portioned like a child, and grapes or something healthy usually go along with it. What kid doesn’t love mcdonalds, but its usually if i hear the *I’m hungry* and we are on the move (she eats when she says she hungry only, unless she just ate)! She is a really good eater and not that picky, she will try ALMOST anything which makes it easy to feed her. She likes Broccoli *I found that out a few weeks ago when putting it on her plate for the first time.* She also loves to be outdoors which is great!

Yes I understand that there are thin people who are unhealthy. And all sizes are beautiful, I won’t love myself any less, or any more being skinny or plus size! Image is not what it’s about, numbers aren’t what it’s about. It’s about trying to be as healthy as possible and trying to do what’s right. Not only for you, but for your kids, or future kids to (You have to start by example).

Lord please…

“Lord I can’t say it in words… So can
you please just listen through my heart” -unknown
Thats all I can say. It’s all I have in me right now. Life is draining!

18 years to be a child,A Lifetime to be an adult…

When I was younger my family would always tell the children when we would complain about not being old enough… “you have 18years to be a child and a lifetime to be an adult.” As I get older I understand what they meant by that. Even at just 20 I find myself wishing someone would push me in a stroller or thinking kindergarden sounds nice. Recess here I come! 

I see so many parents putting so much emphasis on “I’m preparing my child for the real world”, they tend to forget to let the child be a child. There is nothing wrong with preparing your child with whats to come in life (don’t get me wrong) but stop and take a breather for just a moment. Let them stop and smell the flowers, run wild, so what if the outfit they choose to wear isn’t matching that day and their hair is wild. Let them be a child. They will have pleanty of time to stand in the closet for hours to find ther “perfect” outfit to wear, or stand in the mirrior trying to get their hair “just right.” Then you will say “where did the time go” the time didn’t go anywhere you just forgot to stop and actually notice you had a child because you were so busy “preparing” you forgot to stop and “enjoy”. Most likely that  question will come along prom, graduations, weddings, and bringing new editions into the world. As I put za’niyah(3) in bed tonight I actually stopped and watched her laugh and roll around the bed a moment. I tucked her in and read her a book and remembered my grandma used to do it to me as a child. It was simply and some nights she would be so tired she would make up one, but it was a memory that lasted forever. When she was small I wished she was older so that those 2 a.m. feedings wouldnt seem so bad and the moments I couldn’t roll over without hearing a whimper would soon be over! Now I watch her run and play, say my name! Go to sleep on her own, use underwear instead of diapers and attempt to hold a conversation. where did the time go? It went into wishing for this day, now I want to rewind the clock. She has 18years to be a child and a lifetime to be an adult. So I think I’ll embrace these years. Trust me the time does fly!

He Dances To The Beat Of Autism

He’s super C O O L. Watch what you say because he will repeat it.He’s EXTREMELY funny. He doesn’t like strangers sometimes. He makes noises that causes people to stare. When he’s super excited he waves his arms and jumps up and down. Loud noises scare him. His favorite characters is Power Rangers(For now that is). He’s 12 years old and no he still doesn’t color inside the lines. When he cries there is no calming him down until he’s done.Tempers flare somedays and sometimes are worse than others. If you saw him out and perhaps was blessed with his presence long enough, you would notice he’s just a little different. Most of you would probably stare and I’m still wondering if thats just the ignorant side of humans or the normal side of humans. Quavez, thats his name and Autism is the beat he dances to. I know those of you reading this is thinking “awww, thats so sad, or I feel so sorry for his family or him”. Save your pity. save your sympathy. Autism isn’t the end of the world and its certainly not the WORST that someone can be diagnosed with. In fact he doesn’t even realize that he has it. He runs, plays, laughs, and smile just like you and me. He was diagnosed at 5 years old after being misdiagnosed with ADHD. It’s safe to say that even when no one else saw him as being a little different, I did. I noticed there was something just not right when Quavez was around two he didn’t talk like most kids his age. He simply pointed. His tempers were unusual, he took the “terrible two’s” to a whole new level. It went from “terrible two’s to terrible three’s and four’s”. But this was different this was far more than him misbehaving. It would happen out of the blue anywhere and at any moment. At any given time he would be crying, screaming, kicking and no one knew why. I was young myself but had encountered children with special needs. I was always compassionate towards them. I just couldn’t put a name with his actions but I knew ADHD wasn’t it.I checked out a book called “the real boy” where this womans son had been diagnosed with Autism at age three. That was it…Autism. It had to be, Autism. But again who would listen to a “teenager” what would I know about that? Because in my familys mind “that didnt happen to us and he would be just fine, just learn a little slower than others”. Well you can only live in denial until they hit SCHOOL! I remember one day crying to my mom when he was diagnosed. “why him?, why not some other kid, He will be picked on by other kids,I said” and for me that hurt the most as I had once defended many special needs children being tortured by Ignorant children that parents just had simply not taught them not to stare, and pick at someone a little different. Aren’t we all different anyway? So why was it so terrible to be Autistic, or to have down syndrome, or Cerebal palsy?  One summer I came from my usual stay in Maryland, I went to see Quavez and he asked me to spell my name. I did (thinking this would be no more than the usual lines) but slowly I saw a K.I.E.R.R.A form by crayon on a blank sheet of paper. It wasn’t perfect and a few words were backwards. But I swear that was the BEST picture I had ever seen. I was on the phone screaming OMG OMG HE WROTE MY NAME!!! I even got teary eyed because they couldnt understand that yes, he was 7years old and it should be something simple for most children. But he wasn’t most children and to know that I left a little boy that couldn’t do that just 2months ago to a little boy that could spell my name without me helping him was a very big deal. In fact every milestone they accomplish is a very big deal. Quavez has taught me that it’s not about the big things you can accomplish in life, its about the small things. Embrace life and don’t feel sorry for somone simply because they have a special need because they don’t need your pity or sympathy. There isn’t anything wrong with them at all they have feelings and emotions to. They have a need to be loved and cared for to. So the next time you’re out and you hear a hi out of the blue that maybe said 1,000 times say Hi back.or the next time you assume a child is just “acting out for no reason” think, “they might can’t help it. I don’t know the situation so who am I to judge?” Don’t just stand and stare or make assumptions ask a question. Become educated and more involved.

“LOOK BEYOND THE AUTISM AND YOU WILL SEE SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL.”-unknown

“the photos are dated wrong this was summer 2011”