Khy’marrii at 3 months.
Khy’marrii at 3 months.
Staying with khy’marrii tonight at the hospital. I’m so sleepy and tired. I will live off of coffee tomorrow! And zi and I will be taking a nice long nap or maybe I can sneak in about 3hours before her arrival;) if I’m lucky! Or maybe she will be nice enough to sleep for at least 2! Anyways I’m ready for my baby girl. Khy’marrii seems to be doing a little better. He may go home tomorrow. Just irritated that he has tubes in his foot. I hate to see him like that.
Today is just one of those days! Piles or shall I say mountains of clothes need to be washed, dried, and folded. Another load of dishes need to be washed. Tables need to be dusted, the animals cage need to be cleaned and beds need to be made. And I feel lonely! Zi isn’t here and I miss those little toes right now and her willingness to help. However those little legs will be running through here again tomorrow and I honestly cant wait! My little khy’marrii went into respiratory distress today, that call almost caused an emotional melt down. He’s to young to go through this ='(. Waiting for some good news to go see my little guy! Smh it just never ends. I need a red bull and Starbucks to finish this day!
Baby fever! I have it terrible!! Hoping by December to have good news:(.
Tonight is our first night with little khy’marrii. I knew his mommy probably needed a break, and she had to attend her night class. So after work we headed to go get the little guy. At first I was kind of out of the swing of things I guess you can say. I mean Za’niyah is 3 1/2. Lol. However I have picked it right back up! This little guy just gives me” baby fever” all over again!! Babies are such a blessing to have. Hard work? Yes. Tiring? yes. However if you think those 2 hour feedings are horrible! Try those toddler years, and by me working with ages k-8 as well, I see “OH IT REALLY NEVER DOES GET EASIER!” lol Well off I go, there are more things to be done!
I have “baby fever”…(Sigh). Do I think HE could handle another child or more pregnancy news right now? No I think if I had to tell him that he would smile, laugh, then say Damn another one, I hope you have a boy lol. He feels he can, I feel he couldnt lol. Whatever happens, just happens I guess. We will just let that be a surprise I guess. Let’s just hope it’s before next year he claims lol. I think I would be happy and overwhelmed at the same time. But this baby fever just will not go away for nothing! I’ve tried everything! It’s just not working.
There will come a time when she won’t run into my arms to be picked up. There will come a time when she will not want to be held. There will come a time when she won’t come get in my lap to watch tv with her sippy cup. As Zi get’s older I see her personality come together. I see her stubborness when I tell her to hand me something that she can’t have, or tell her to do something that she doesn’t want to do as she just stands there and look at me refusing. I see her goofiness as she runs and laughs, and loves to try and scare me or play a joke. I recognize her becoming more and more independent as she wants to give herself a bath, pick out her own outfit, and even put her own clothes and shoes on. There will come a day when she will fix her own plate, put on her own clothes, stand in the mirror for hours to make sure she looks perfect. She will have a real boyfriend, She will drive and will not want to be my little shadow anymore. Doll’s and minnie mouse scooters will be traded for cell phones and cars, computers and music devices, A bedtime story will be traded for a phone call with her friends. 3 1/2 years ago that seemed sooo far. Now looking at her I realize it’s not that far away at all, it never was. And although my patience may grow thin having her sometimes, I wouldn’t trade her for nothing and I love her unconditionally and there is no one or nothing in this world that will or could ever change that!
So if you have children, or a child, godchildren, or are caring for a child period. When you go home today or the next time you have them be sure to embrace that tantrum, because one day it will be replaced by a door slam, or a eye-roll. Instead of taking that phone call sit down and play with them, hug them, kiss them while you can because one day they will walk out the door with a simple “Mom/Dad i’m leaving”, or a simple “Bye.” Instead of putting them in bed and closing the door hold them tonight until they fall asleep because it won’t last forever one day you will go in their room and they will already be sleep without a goodnight! Embrace the cry over a broken toy because one day it will be over a broken heart and you won’t be able to replace that, or fix it with a simple hug. And that day will come when you look back on pictures of them being small wondering where in the world did the time go.
So time magazine was talking about co-sleeping “attachment parenting” and breast feeding! As if you don’t hear enough controversy about it. Let’s quote a few things ive heard “it’s gross” “it’s unnatural” “it’s not normal” “it shouldn’t be allowed in public”. First off how can something so natural be unnatural? I don’t find it gross I digest my food just fine:) I’m delighted that the kid gets to eat while I eat lol. (besides these days you see more boobs popped out on tv! Now lets talk about Not being natural! Bet you dont see a Problem with that) at least with breastfeeding it’s helping him or her grow! And time here you come! Adding fuel to the fire, so what if someone breastfeeds over what YOU think is unnatural! No one asked what you thought! Parenting is a job that will have you doing a lot of things you never saw yourself doing! My mother co slept with me as well as my brother. So did my grandparents! We co slept with zi and she still does at 3! Yes she can fall asleep on her own and yes she is getting her own bed soon. Tell me something Dr. Sears since you know it all, do you know what it’s like at 3 a.m walking down a hall to a crib where your kid is sleeping, all while seeing doubles because you are barely living off a few hours of sleep?, do you know what it’s like to have a fear of SIDS?, or to have an infant that is sick or has a low immune system and their mothers milk can help strengthen their immune system?, do you know what it’s like to look down at those little faces while they are sleeping/eating and how precious that moment is (that’s right it’s precious at 2,3,4,5,1000!)?? The thing that angers me the most is most of the people that write these articles don’t have children of their own or have been exposed to children outside of “observation”. And observation and actually being apart of a little human life that needs you are two different things! So who are you to tell a mom what she is or isn’t doing is right or wrong!? There are no solutions to parenting because each child is different! As you learn your child you learn what works for you and your child to get through! Every mama is mama enough! She’s mama enough because she loves her baby not because she breastfeeds them until age 6 or not! Not because she chooses cloth diapers or not. Not because her kid is 5 sleeping with her! It’s because she is their mama, she loves them, they love her, shes doing what she finds best for her kids and that’s all that matters! Forget time magazine! Along with dr. Sears and if you do have kids dr. Sears, I’m sure they have some bonding issues!
“Lord I can’t say it in words… So can
you please just listen through my heart” -unknown
Thats all I can say. It’s all I have in me right now. Life is draining!