Sometimes Dreams Die, Sometimes They Live While We Watch.

I watched my cousin and uncle watch basketball and football recruiting highlights and all I could think about was you. How she caused you to loose your football scholarship all because of the love you had for her. How now all you can do is live with the regret. Now I watch her take away your smile most days. You would sit with me telling me how bad you want to play football, how bad you hate that you didn’t finish school. How bad you wanted to go pro. I could see your own disappointment in your eyes. I think about all the time and effort those coaches had to put into you. How they had to see something more than you did. They gave you a future and all you had to do was appreciate it. Now it’s gone. Now you have to live with the regret and you deal with it everyday. You always had back up things that you liked to do. There was cutting hair, then there was culinary school, there was firestone, then there was truck driving. The list could probably go on and on. As I watch you work the job you have now, I just think to myself. Talent, wasted. I was willing to be there for you all the way. My mother was willing to take you back and forth just for me, although she really felt that putting all my time and effort into you was just a waste of time. My grandmother was willing to help you get through! They knew I loved you, they knew i’d go to war for you. Be there for you, no matter the cost. In the end it wasn’t enough,love wasn’t enough. Or maybe it was because the love you obviously had for her made you run right back every single time, no matter the cost. I still hear your dreams but sadly it feels as though that’s all they will ever be for you. As I watch you and your life from a far. I wanted more for you than you wanted for yourself. You told me don’t make the same mistakes you did, be better than you. I wanted to be there for you, with you and be better with you, for you. Stopped drinking with you, thinking maybe this would help you get a better outlook on what life could be like. Where you didn’t need to smoke or drink your emotions away. Life away. But it wasn’t enough. You just continued to drown your sorrows and deal the best way you know how. people keep telling me that everyone can’t be helped.That you have to either learn on your own or never learn at all. That you have to come to reality on your own. As though I don’t already know. It’s why I stopped dealing with you. But I love you and all I want is to see you happily ever after at the end of your story. I loved you enough to want the world to see all you had to offer because everyone wasn’t seeing it. In fact I think I was the only one that could see it sometimes. In the end i’ll always be proud of you no matter what you choose to do. That’s the kind of love I have for you.  

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