Just How I Feel

All they ever want to do with me is mess with me, yep thats all these nigga’s want with me.They want to play around with me. Each one i’ve ever knew played with my emotions! Yeah you love me for now. You love me as long as i’m doing you. You like me.. for what I look like. You don’t give a damn about who I am. If you did then you would see my pain, you would see the pain in my eyes. You would be there for me at night … yeah all those nights I sit up and cry. Seems like I’ve been trying to find someone to love me all my life. You want me, but you want her and her to. Some even have the audacity to ask if I want to join you as if I’m some type of experiment. You want her to be wifey. You want me to just Fuck you! Thought a few of you cared.. I learned differently. People that care don’t try and use you. They are there for you. Where are any of you? Where are you to wipe my tears? To say I love you too? Some of you even said you had love for me. Thats funny..If sex is love, please HATE me! I may have an attitude from time to time, I’m mouthy, and sometimes I’m just to nice, I admit it. I mess up too. Sorry I’m bothering you…It’s just the only way I know how to show you I care. Sometimes I’m trying to be so perfect trying to do what I was taught to do. Trying to correct all my wrongs hoping that this time  i don’t mess things up. Trying to keep you happy. I’m just doing what I know. Sometimes I loose who I am until even I don’t know what I’m suppose to be doing. One minute I’m to emotional, one minute im heartless. Im either giving to much or to little attention. I’m either to nice or I’m to mean. I don’t know how to be. Someone told me to just be me,but everyone makes me feel like I’m wrong for being me. Everyone expects different from me. I just want someone to see me for me and not for what I can do. I want for you to respect and care about me too. And If that makes me to emotional, sensitive, or im asking to much. Remember I’m human I want to be loved just like you. I’m tired of being the girl you go to. Remember there were people befor you.  I always seem to care more about others than they care about me. I’m doing the best I know how all i ask is for a little patience with me. I dont need your sympathy. I can take care of myself. I just want you to hear me. I just want to be treated like a “female” and not a “bitch”. Not a “Hoe”. Not a “toy”. Stop trying to use me. I want you to see past what I say to you and the act that I put on. I have to act as though I dont care or I would break. I can’t care because no one will allow me to. Don’t you know I’m someone else’s daughter to!

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